Orphan PDF Orphan
abandoned, alone, bereave, cast-off, castaway, castoff, derelict,
discard, disregarded, dogie, flotsam,and jetsam, forsaken,
foundling, heir, ignored, jetsam, junk, lagan, leave, leave behind,
lost, neglected, orphaned, parentless, refuse, reject, relict,
rubbish, slighted, solitary, successor, survivor, trash, waif,
waifs and strays, widow, widower
Simply stated, the orphan heart is a learned behavior that becomes entrenched in the internal paradigm or mind-set. The source of this is deep wounding that most commonly occurs from the father(Can also come from a mother or abuse). These deep wounds release a host of emotions in the soul that ultimately separates the child from the identity, security, sense of destiny, and purpose that, by design, are to be instilled by the father.
One definition of an orphan is, one who has been deprived of a parent or parents by either death or desertion. In the Greek, the term is orphanos and is translated parentless, fatherless, and comfortless. It figuratively speaks of one who is bereft of a teacher, guide, or guardian.
In Jesus’ day, it was customary for Hebrew children to have an assigned rabbi who was responsible for their training. If that rabbi were to die during the training of the child, the child was considered orphaned since no other rabbi would take the child to complete the training.
This is why Jesus told His disciples prior to His departure that “I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you” (John 14:18). He wanted them to know that He was not leaving them orphaned!
Believers who are plagued by The Orphan Heart are those whose hearts are separated from acceptance, love, and security even in the presence of a church family who extends love and belonging.
Their hearts are longing to belong but have the inability to do so. They have a disconnect in their souls that prevents them from engaging and trusting others.
Even as followers of Christ, they are unable to acknowledge or submit to authority, instruction, or direction from the fathers and mothers of the faith who love them. Their hearts are deeply damaged by abandonment, rejection, and/or abuse from those who were supposed to love, nurture, and bless them, yet failed to do so.
What the Orphan-Hearted Look Like
Observation of orphan-hearted individuals reveals several common characteristics.
First, they are ones in great pain of soul hallmarked by loss of belonging
Because the orphan-hearted feel lost in life, they experience isolation, loneliness, and lack of identity. There is a continual search for the answer to the basic question, “Who am I?”
Without a father to establish true identity and purpose, they wander throughout life in search of true identity. They look for someone who has their perceived qualities of a father or mother and then try to emulate them. They often exhibit mannerisms, dress, and even personality traits in an effort to connect their lonely hearts to a parent figure they wish to be like.
Second, there is a loss of value
The orphan soul is filled with feelings of worthlessness, rejection, and sadness. This is especially true of those who have been abused or abandoned by a parent.
The orphan-hearted receive the message that their lives are unimportant and their contribution to the family is neither wanted nor needed. In short, they view themselves as undesirable of those who are supposed to love them, thus producing profound sadness and a sense of insignificance.
Third, there is a loss of security
Rejection, abuse, and the loss of worth create intense insecurities that strike fear into the core of the orphans’ souls. Peace is unseated by torment, and hopelessness takes charge of the mind-set.
Orphans will always see the glass half empty and have great difficulty surrendering their souls to the Father, even when taught that He is loving, caring, and nurturing to all believers.
Fourth, there is the loss of trust
Orphans have been deserted by those who were supposed to love and care for them. Therefore, they purpose to never allow themselves to be hurt again by those who call themselves fathers and mothers.
There is a deficit in the trust level of those in authority because of the deep wounding. Because of this, orphans will reject order, especially God-appointed order, since ultimately they see God as a tyrant taskmaster rather than a loving, caring Father.
Fifth, there is the loss of relational capacity
The orphan-hearted establish walls to protect themselves from further hurts and wounds. Some have an excellent ability to develop business relationships and yet short-circuit when it comes to intimacy.
There is great difficulty getting close to people. They tend to keep others at arm’s length and find it challenging to maintain long-term relationships. They become anxious when getting too close to people and will even sabotage their relationships in an attempt to protect from personal harm.
Orphans are very self-reliant since they are the only ones in life they deem to be trustworthy. There is little understanding to the notion that God is a provider and a shelter for their lives. Because of this, there is oftentimes an obsession with self-help.
The orphan-hearted embrace self-improvement formulas in an attempt to become better, healthier people, yet rarely experience lasting change since the root issues of the damage to their souls is seldom addressed.
Authority is a four-letter word to the orphan-hearted even though deep inside there is the desire to be free of torments. They often seek affirmation and encouragement from church leaders to feel secure. However, order often equates to control. Therefore, stepping into a setting or system of order, stability, and proper alignment disquiets their souls.
When love is applied to facilitate change and maturation, orphans become uncomfortable. They will often look for the flaw in leadership or church members and use it as an excuse to exit.
Orphans are commonly the church hoppers that despise submission and flaunt lawless behavior within the body of Christ. They commonly claim, “I don’t need you; I only need God.” They remain fiercely independent and critical of any system that operates within an orderly structure.”
“When orphans reach out to help others, they are generally seeking attention to feel good about themselves.”
Sixth, there is loss of love and acceptance
The need for love and acceptance within the orphan-hearted is so great that they are easy prey for ungodly soul ties. Orphans will tend to become perfectionists in order to prove their worth and so will work hard if there is a reward of recognition and affirmation. Without this, there is little motivation to serve at all.
When orphans reach out to help others, they are generally seeking attention to feel good about themselves. These individuals are the ones in the church who work themselves to the bone because their work becomes their identity and gives them their sense of worth. Take them out of their job and you strip them of their identity and value.”
Finally, there is the loss of wise judgment
Statistics reveal that 90 percent of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes [US DHHS, Bureau of the Census]. Many become easy prey for gangs and human trafficking. Seeking a secure environment of love and belonging, they often migrate to gangs or sex traffickers who become a surrogate family.
Orphan-hearted persons will readily pick up the offenses of others. They are very sensitive to perceived injustices and are quick to pick up on grievances against the status quo or established authority, especially God-appointed authority.
In the church, they are those who often undermine or refuse to acknowledge the authority of God-appointed leadership. Their attempt to save those within the body, whom they perceive as blinded or held captive by the control of leadership, is oftentimes the circumstance that exposes their wounded heart.
Wounded heart can be triggered by old embedded vows/events.
An inner vow is a determination set by the mind and heart into all the being in early life.
Vows we make currently also affect us, but an inner vow is one set into us as children and usually forgotten.
Our inner being persistently retains such programming no matter what changes of mind and heart may later pertain. The distinctive mark of an inner vow is that it resists the normal maturation process. Inner vows resist change. We do not grow out of them.
An inner vow does not have to be a judgment. It doesn’t have to be a sin, but it is as if you are telling yourself the way things are going to be: “I will never do that again”, I will never be like my mother”, “I will never allow that in my house.”etc.” We are telling our inner being, we are telling ourselves how reality is going to be and that is not God’s will for us.
The inner vows that are made in childhood and that we have forgotten seem to be even more powerful than the ones we’ve made as adults – even to the point where they can affect growth and development.
Words have more than psychological power; they have spiritual power too. When we made those vows, our enemy, the devil, worked hard to make those negative words come true.
Inner vows may not become manifest immediately in behavior.
They may rest totally forgotten and dormant, until triggered by the right person or situation.
Having forgotten them, we are unaware that they exist or that they could have any effect on us or our relationships.
They are often difficult to identify and take on a life of their own within us that causes us to deal with reality in a particular way.
A person cannot uproot or change an inner vow unaided. Such vows require authority.
Only one who knows his authority in Christ can break a vow and reset the inner being to another way of acting.
All three go together – the person has the heart of stone; they have made that fortress that they are sitting behind. They have made their bitter root judgments. Then on top of judging there is an inner vow, “I will never. . . “
Some inner vows seem to be good things. If daddy was an alcoholic and we say, “I don’t ever want to be like daddy,” that sounds like a good thing, because we are going to be moral, and we are going to be correct.
But it is a fleshly righteousness. We are not relying on the Holy Spirit to guide and direct us. It is like we have decided in our mind and in our will that we will not be an alcoholic. But it coerces us to a righteousness that may not be real or genuine. It may lead us to the other extreme where our emotions are bottled up and our actions are not moving out of genuine love.
Some inner vows have effects on our bodies. A young wife could not conceive and the doctors could find no reason for the couple’s infertility.
It was discovered that she was the oldest of nine children. Every time her mother got pregnant the mother became very ill and the responsibility for taking care of the children fell on the oldest. Feelings of imposition increased and anger began to build in the girl.
Ultimately she cried out that she would never be like her mother and act like that. Her inner being easily interpreted such vows as orders never to allow pregnancy.
Her healing came through forgiving her mother and breaking the inner vow broke the hold on her body by proclaiming for her to receive and nurture life. Then she was able to conceive naturally.
Other inner vows that allow us to harbor childhood resentments can give us full or partial hearts of stone and close us off to intimacy with others and with Christ.
This type is harder to break because there are more structures (learned ways of acting ) that need to be broken down.
Merely realizing and breaking the inner vow will not by itself set one free because many other character structures remain after the original inner vow is broken.
An example would be a certain husband cannot share and be close to his wife – so he remains distant and the marriage is cold and meaningless.
His mother was controlling and critical whenever the boy shared his feelings with his mother. So he learned to hide his feelings from his mother. He soon learned that the less he shared the better off he was.
Whatever his mother knew may be hauled up for criticism or scolding – even weeks, months or years down the road. Though all this is normal, sometimes the situation is so tense or the reaction so vehement, the child forms a most obstinate inner vow: “Never share what you really feel with a woman. It is not safe.” So begins the buildup of character structure.
The first step for such a person is recognition of the inner vow. Then they must come to an understanding and hatred of the inner vow because of the blocking it causes in our character.
Such hatred is not automatic and should not be taken for granted no matter what the supplicant says.
Fruits, not words reveal truth. Prayer should be immediate, for the parental dishonoring to be forgiven, for the vows to be broken, and the new life of freedom to emerge, but it may take awhile for proper hatred of the old nature and consequent death of self to arrive.
Inner vows of this type have built huge surrounding complexes in the character structure, and all are still seeking to fulfill that original purpose, to hide the person from hurt. (This can cause intimacy fractures with God the Father, others, and ourselves.)
There may be, for example, a heart of stone, or unconscious, evasive and defensive habitual flight mechanisms, automatically triggered angers, many bitter root expectancies, key words, phrases or actions that stimulate automatic reactions, deep anxieties and fears, incapability to trust, etc.
If there was quarelling by the parents the enemy could use this later in life when the child marries. There can be a feeling of helplessness or lack of control in a triggered conflict, where the Orphan heart or spirit will project the buried hurts in childhood into the current disagreement with a spouse/friend/co-worker/Church person
Releasing Inner Vows
|A prayer to Forgive…
Lord, I don’t know how to make forgiveness happen.
I can’t cleanse my heart or change my feelings
I don’t know how to trust, and I’m afraid to hold my heart open.
But today I’m making a choice to forgive.
I know I’ll have to choose again and again
until You make forgiveness real and complete in me. Please God, give me the
willingness and strength to persevere in choosing until forgiveness is
accomplished in me by Your power.
I choose to forgive my father for………
I choose to forgive my mother for……..I ask forgiveness for any time I dishonored my parents or an authority figure
Forgive in me all my sinful responses
Father, I let go of all resentments and bitternesses stored in my heart. Wash me
clean. Forgive me for all condemning judgments I have made. Give me a new
and right spirit within me that will enable me to hate sin but look with Your
compassion and love upon the sinner.
Heal the wounded heart of the child within me.
Pour Your love in.
Bless those who wounded me.
Forgive me, Lord, for projecting my childish pictures in relation to parents onto
You, and onto others, especially those I love.
Bring those pictures to death.
Bring my childish ways and expectations to death.
Let Your light shine into all the hidden places of my heart.
Enlighten the eyes of my heart, Lord, to see You and love You
as You really are, please show me how to have more intimacy with you and others
and to walk in Your way. Right now I choose to repent and renounce in myself and in my generations any participation
With any orphan spirits/any unnamed spirits in operation/all underlings,overlings and gatekeepers
I command you all to leave me now by the Blood of Jesus and in Jesus’s mighty name.
Father God would you please heal my heart/I receive your love right now please baptize me with your love/Holy Spirit would you cleanse me and refill me and tell me your truth.
Gleaned from several websites and books. Basil Frasure/John Sanford/Identyfying the Orphan Spirit Leif Hetland you tube/Jack frost